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But this belief has led to one of the most isolated and disconnected cultures to ever walk the planet.We feel weak when we express emotion and feel ridiculous for wanting and needing others in our lives. That's how misused the term is, much like "genius," "hilarious," and "starving." A simple definition is that codependents can't tolerate the discomfort of others. What if you think it's boring, or, God forbid, not as good as the other letters on Lenny? I thought it meant you were in a bad relationship with someone else, when it really means you're in a bad relationship with yourself.After a breakup, my take was always "I loved him too much." But it was very hard to convince me that I wasn't just, like, an amazing person. Essentially, if I drive you to the airport because you can't afford a taxi and I expect nothing in return, that's benevolent. First you have two single people, next is dating, followed by a committed couple, which is then proceeded by marriage. How did he know that I was obsessed with solving other people's problems while my own life was a scalding-hot mess? In a 12-step meeting for codependence, I once heard a man say, "In this program, we are pathologically thoughtful and obsess over other people's problems to avoid our own." I got a pit in my stomach because I felt like he had been reading my journal.

Many codependent people never learned how to be a healthy, separate child, due to a dysfunctional home and/or trauma.Continue reading Childfree, Childless, Childlessness, Codependency, commitment, Dating, Fear, Flow, Happiness, intimacy, Love, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Nonfiction, Personal development, Psychology, publishing, Recovery, Relationships, Self-help, Selfhelp It began with me – with falling in love with myself. Continue reading I’m having a tough week emotionally. I know that’s a cliché, that you’ve heard it before, read it in some glossy women’s magazine. Some describe codependency as an addiction to another person. I couldn't stop buying people overpriced candles, yet I had not paid my rent.For these reasons, neither spends the appropriate amount of time getting to know each other.